Are you tired of the new year, new you messages yet?
Apparently the second Friday in January is known as “Quitter’s Day” when most people supposedly quit their New Year’s resolutions.
I appreciate reassuring reminders that you don’t need to sign up for that miserable 30-day “transformation challenge” if you don’t want to or set lofty goals based on external shoulds or rooted in diet culture that leave you worse off in the long-run. January is just another month, one that happens to be in the middle of the winter when most of us just want to rest, get cozy and recover from the holidays.
At the same time, I kinda love the new year. Whether it’s the new year, new moon or another trip around the sun, I like taking a moment to reflect and consider where I want to direct my attention.
When I took the Strengthfinders 2.0 test several years ago, it said one of my top strengths (#4) was “futuristic.” According to the book by Tom Rath, futuristic means:
“You are the kind of person who loves to peer over the horizon. The future fascinates you… you see in detail what the future might hold, and this detailed picture keeps pulling you forward, into tomorrow… When the present proves too frustrating and the people around you too pragmatic, you conjure up your visions of the future and they energize you.”
So basically, it’s a strength and a coping mechanism. 🙂 All strengths have their pros and cons, right?
New Year’s gives me another excuse to be futuristic and I’ve done my share of journal prompts and reflections. I’ll rinse and repeat during the lunar new year week, except hopefully with some delicious Vietnamese banh tet.
There’s one new year’s prompt that’s really stuck with me from the wise Hala Khouri (paraphrased): When does your striving pull you away from being present?
In a talk aptly titled “F%$K New Year’s Resolutions, Let’s Find Ways To Be Kind To Ourselves Instead,” Khouri cautions against setting lofty goals that either create a sympathetic arousal (fight-or-flight) and overwhelm OR goals that put us in some fantasy future where we’re bypassing our actual experience, which blocks us from truly healing and growing.
So it’s a balance. I’m still looking ahead, setting intentions, and yes, have a word of the year (Creativity). Approach goals are generally more fun than avoidance goals, something I keep in mind when I see clients 1:1.
But I’m also imperfectly learning to take in the good now. To be present for today. When researcher Brene Brown was asked years ago in an interview what she thought makes a good life, she answered:
“A good life happens when you stop and are grateful for the ordinary moments that so many of us just steam roll over to find those extraordinary moments. To me, my good life is soccer practice and carpool line and tuck-ins and date night…and knowing that it’s good and acknowledging and stopping and saying, ‘This is good.’”
I was recently looking through old photos on my phone, “Memories” that iPhone suggests. As I was scrolling through the pics – most of them not holiday card worthy, which we haven’t sent out in years – just pics capturing ordinary moments like my kids waiting around at the airport, laughing during a meal, and hanging out at home or the park. I found myself wondering: how present was I for these moments? I appeared present but were my mind and heart where my feet were? The answer is mixed.
One way I can put my futuristic strength to good use is ask my future self: how would she view today? How would she view the messy parts and the ordinary moments – all of it impermanent. Because I really believe the quality of my life largely depends on the quality of my presence.
It’s one reason the work I do in my practice is so rewarding. When you improve your relationship with food, your capacity to be present improves.
How about you? How do you feel about New Year’s? Do you set intentions, resolutions, have a word of the year or none of the above?
What pulls you away from the present moment?
Are there ordinary moments today that you can take in and acknowledge, This is good?
I want to know.
Happy 2025,
Minh-Hai
I’m grateful to be doing work that is so rewarding, supporting people to have a better relationship with their food, body and mind.
My approach is strengths-based, trauma-informed, weight-inclusive (Health At Every Size based) and grounded in cultural humility.
Both my nutrition therapy and body-based practices are influenced by a wide range of teachings and modalities that allow my approach to be both eclectic and more effective than simply working with one lens or modality.
By working together, I hope you’ll gain insight, compassion and tools to feel more resourced and confident about how you feed and care for yourself – well after our time together ends.